RatBalls (Goolies, Furry 'Nads, whatever) are mesmerizing. I think if Freud would have had pet rats, he would have never developed a cigar fetish. Instead he'd be chewing on dates all day. Of course because he's German, they'd probably be daytsch. Whatever - he'd have a different fixation. But alas, the poor man was deprived and was limited his whole life to grappling with his cigar while treating Anna's sinus infections.
Let's have a moment of silence for the poor man.

So this page is dedicated to all the ratball stories out there. That's right: You submit 'em and here they will remain for life. And I'm sure there's a lot of 'em.

 
Here's my story: When we first got rats, I refused to let Andy get boys because I thought the big pink bumps were repulsive. There, it's out in the open. A few months after getting the girls, however, I saw past the furry 'nads - I didn't care anymore. Just like I managed to see past the tail. But as I had the boys for awhile, I found that I liked them. They're so full of character...and really excellent neck-warmers. I started thinking about male humans with their ratballs scaled to size...that is, male humans in skirts. Visualize it yourself: You'll see why the skirts come into the picture.

 
But this isn't the kind of story I'm talking about. I'm talking about "first impressions." First impressions by non-rat-loving strangers:

Submitted by: Emily
One time, I brought my hairless rat, Tru Dog, over to my friend's house to spend the night. My friend, Emily, has two brothers who of course, loved the rat. They were holding him, when they seemed to realize the long, dragging thing he was carrying around with him. "OOH!" The youngest brother howled, "He's got a tumor on his tail!" "No!" The slightly other brother growled, "That's part of being a hairless rat. you get a mutilated tail." I laughed and explained to them and their horrified Mother what that 'mutilation' was at the end of Tru's tail.

Submitted by: Caroline
We have Leather Sofa's in our home which we used to allow our troop of rattys to run over.

It was my Dad who always used to tease and say "Look at those things! God, they're using them to polish the leather! They're bright pink from being dragged across it!" 

Submitted by: Sandra
Our rat Willard is a very large rat, with balls to match. I had a roommate who had never lived with rats before, she actually had a dream about Willard falling off a balcony railing, but being saved by his balls getting caught in the bars. We joke that if he were castrated, he would probably lose his sense of balance. He also has the sort of gross habit of walking over top of his brother Riso, and dragging his balls across Riso's super soft rex fur. He's definitely one of a kind, but we love 'im.

Submitted by: Amber
My friend and I each bought one blue rat; they are brothers. Since they were young they hadn't "dropped" yet. A week later my friend brings her rat, Sterling, to play with my Nibbles. Sterling was fiesty and played hard, Nibbles more passive. She left a few hours later. My daughter was looking at Nibbles and said, "what's up with Nibbles, his butt is big!", needless to say, I had to explain why he had a "big butt". He had just dropped his balls!! She was embarassed.

Submitted by: Ginger
My niece (20-something) and her boyfriend were visiting after Thanksgiving dinner, & she wanted to show him my rats, who were at that time Rufus and Weasel. Rufus' backside was not apparent because he chose to remain in bed, but Weasel had come out of his nest box to greet the visitors, stretching
and showing off beautifully while I described various rat behaviors to them. Catching sight of his "tackle", my niece Karen pointed out that Weasel had something terribly wrong with him: "Oh, no, Ginger, he's got a really bad tumor back there!" I responded, "Those are his testicles, Karen." Thus began the discussion about rat tackle.

Submitted by: Lacey
I brought home a newbie yesterday and noticed that he had fear pooped so bad that it was stuck to his butt. It was sooooooooooo gross. I was gagging at the sight of it. Anyway, I rushed home and picked him up to put him in the cage but was going to wipe him down first. When I picked him up, I didn't see the poop. I looked in the cage, no weird poop there. I looked again. That poop I saw? It was his balls. He's a siamese so they're a different coloring. I felt so silly after that.


Submitted by: Lacey
One day, I looked over to the cage (only had four boys at that time) and saw Skit sitting in a very weird position. He was sitting on his butt with his legs up in the air and his head down there. I freaked out. I started laughing but being grossed out at the same time. I got online and was talking to my fellow rat-owner friends, "Skit is servicing himself!! HAHAHA!" They thought it was funny too.
....so I decided I had to take pics of this. You know, to hold against Skit when his girlfriend is around. I got closer with the webcam and laughed even harder. He wasn't servicing himself! He was in a tight position in the milk jug because Fievel (one of his cagemates) was taking up the whole milk jug with his fat butt so Skit was left to squeeze himself in no matter how uncomfortable it was.

Submitted by: Rachel
ok, it's not a ratball story, it's a hamsterball story, but funny none the less. my boyfriend, who is 30 years old mind you, saw some hamsters at the pet store. he was looking at them and called me over. "aww look babe, that one has babies" do i need to explain what the so called "babies" really were. i said, "aww babe, that's his stuff, those are his balls, you idiot!" even after i humiliated him, he bought me that hairless hamster anyway. he was so proud that the little guy had huge balls, so he named him Ballsac.

Submitted by: Caitlin
My boy (now deceased) Sebastian was the proud owner of nuts that were the size of his head... each! At one show, the judge lifted him out of the showbox and hollered for the whole hall to hear "Oh my GOD! look at his nuts! Caitlin he's huge!!" Meanwhile I shrunk into a very embarrased puddle LOL. The rest of that show people kept coming up to me and asking to see the 'rat with the big nuts'. LOL.

Submitted by: Caitlin
Sebastian (of 'Normous Nuts' fame) was also my 'uncle' rat, that is when I had little boys he would go in the little boys cage to groom them, teach them about being rats etc. He was always so gentle and loving. Anyway one day mum was over and she was watching him 'uncle' these couple of little 5 week old PEWS (he was cream) all of a sudden mum freaks out! "Oh no!! He is sitting on that baby! he is squashing it! LOOK Caitlin he is sitting on the baby!".. closer inspection reveals that he is in fact sitting on his nuts!! LOL mum got very embarrased and I still tease her about it ;)

Submitted by: Allison
My boyfriend's 12-yr-old cousin saw my male rat, Stuey, and said, "What's wrong with his butt? His butt's mutating!" It took me a second to understand what he was talking about, but then I couldn't stop laughing. Then my boyfriend whispered in his ear what the, ahem, THINGS were. He was pretty grossed out! It's a good thing boys aren't squeamish about things like that like young girls would be! Stuey liked him and ended up licking practically his whole hand, like he does to anyone he likes. I think I should have called him 'Slurpy.'

Submitted by: Nathalie
My best friend and her mother stopped over for a visit. I can't remember why but it doesn't matter. Her mom seemed to like the rats. But just as I was getting that warm fuzzy feeling of appreciation for our newfound friends, her face started to show that look of concern. "Nat," she said, "those four boys...you should probably take them to the vet...it looks like they have tumors!"