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:O) - I'm a "smiley face." If you see me around, chances are, I've said something funny, or I was sarcastic.

Andy (human) - I am the rat-dad. I am more sensible than rat-mom but am nonetheless appreciated by the rats because of my strong manly digits that aid in super head, neck, and back rubbing.

Aspen - I'm a good kind of rat-bedding. My chips are dry and not fragrant like Cedar or Pine bedding so I don't hurt the delicate rat noses and lungs. Sometimes I'm a bit dusty though so it's a good idea to shuffle me up a bit to get the dusties out. In California I come in bigger chunks and am baked.

Blanket (Blankie) - I'm any rat that covers another rat (or rats). Those rats are my "pillow."

ButtNutt - I am a really cool rat. My name is human-slang for "twit."

CareFresh - I am the bedding of choice by most rat enthusiasts. I am allergen free and pretty absorbent. I'm not liked by these humans though because a few times I smelled moldy so they buy "Cell-Sorb Plus" instead.

Cell-Sorb Plus - I am the bedding of choice here in Rat-Land. I leave less of a mess behind, I soak up copious amounts of whiz, I'm odor-free, and I'm not dusty. I'm also only $15 for a 40 lb bag.

Dominant Rat - I'm the gang leader. I'm scary and I never let my senses down, not even for a sneeze. All the other rats know to stay away from me and to give their food to me when I demand it. If I were wild, I'd also have first pick at all the fine ladies out there. My job is to make sure my children are strong and my family is protected.

Doxy - Doxycycline, in injectible and in water-soluble form, is Dr. Bob's miracle antibiotic. I'm really good at helping sick, unmotivated rats feel better again. I also prolong lives. In injectible form I last 7 days, however I must be injected into a muscle so I am best used as an alternative only when a rat won't drink or eat.

Dr. Bob - I am the world's best veterinarian. I don't attend to people much so some of my patient's owners get a bit upset about this. I love animals though and you can be assured that if you're a rat, you'll get the best care humanly available if you see me. The humans, Nat and Andy, will take their rats to see no other veterinarian.

Duct Tape - I am the most powerful wonder-substance and come in handy during most emergencies. I'm used to patch cages and bottles. I am also wrapped around bottles in order to let them hang from places they weren't meant to be hanged from as well as to protect bottles from being eaten alive.

Funny - I am a word that rat-owners are very much familiarized with. Even when a rat does something to make a human angry, I'm around to make the situation all better.

George - I am an agouti hooded rat.

George - I too am an agouti hooded rat but pride myself on showing very aggressive and dominant behaviors.

Grandpa - I am a rat Mutt basically. I am far from show quality. Actually, I'm downright ugly rat-beauty wise, but the Nat and Andy humans seem to love me just the same. I have a little patch of course white fur on my brain that deceives the humans into believing I'm an intelligent being.

Ivermectin - I am the wonder-bug-killer. If your rat has red lice, use me in a small edible portion (about the size of a grain of uncooked rice) to get rid of those nasty little red bugs.

Mr. and Mrs. Baldwin - We are the human-Nat's parents. We say we hate rats, but we're always mesmerized by Nat's rat stories and impressed by her rats' behaviors. We do wish, however, that she'd stop referring to our back yard as "The Rat Cemetery."

Mycoplasma - I am a nasty bacteria that resides in the lungs of most rats. All I ask is that you give a rat a good chill or draft so I can come out in full form as Pneumonia. My ill-effects can be subsided early on with Tylan, but because I'm a bad little beast, you can never truly get rid of me. And if I really get a chance to show my true spirit, it'll take something a lot stronger to get rid of all the secondary infections I allow to take hold of your little furry friend.

Nat (human) - I am the rat-mom. I am a wimp and will give the rats anything and everything they want even if it means the destruction of everything I own. Ironically I was the one who originally did not want rats, but now I can't imagine life without them.

Nipping - If I don't draw blood, I'm nipping. This means I could be warning you or cleaning you, or it could mean that I accidentally mistook you for food.

Nubbies - I am an offensive bump, spot, or scab on a rat or human's body that prevents the rat or human from having smooth, soft skin. I am a primary focus in rat cleaning rituals.

Pillow - I'm any rat that provides a cushion against the cool wire floor. Those rats on top of me are my "Blankie."

Pizza - I am food, any kind of food.

Popcorn - I am a favorite rat treat because "corn" is in my name. I am also a behavior of young rats who play. They will pop around in a chain, mimicking the popping of actual corn.

Rat-Hammocks - I was originally created for ferrets, but rats love me just the same. I help keep the "Pillows" and "Blankies" together.

Rat-Heaven - I am some place beyond Mr. and Mrs. Baldwin's back yard. There they don't have to share watermelons or corn on the cob because such items are presented in copious amounts. We still share Rat-Hammocks though because it's more snuggly that way.

RatFanClub - Although the numbers have greatly decreased as of late, we're Slinky's 10 boys plus two bigger boys from Tom's Monfort Pets and Aquarium. Ben used to be our leader. We get along with each other really well, and we'll be at full attention at the drop of a pin. Nat-human spoils us and we spoil her. We're so super happy and excited to see you!

Rathood - I am rat-childhood and rat-adulthood all wrapped into one. We used to think that being a rat was a pre-requisite but we think Nat and Andy are developing nicely as rats too.

RatRaisins - I am the technical term for rat-poop. I am usually produced in triplicate, however some of our smaller rats have been over-achievers and have produced up to seven of us in one sitting! We are a rat's pride and joy and remain second-fiddle only to "whiz."

Rattlings - We are baby rats. We generally come to be in collections of around 4 to 14. We are born hairless and blind, and we really hate opening our eyes, but are always grateful for a little furry warmth. Everything we know and everything we do we learn as Rattlings.

Rattus Rattus (Rattus Norvegicus) - I was a very nice fat rat. I was named "Rattus Rattus" because my silly mom was taking a "Medieval History" course at the time and it seemed only logical to blame me for the Black Plague I guess. Seriously though, she just thought it sounded cool, but she was well aware that in all actuality I am a Rattus Norvegicus, or Norwegian rat, and that I had nothing to do with the carrying of or spreading of the Black Plague.

Slinky - I was a soggy rat that closely resembled the popular child's toy. Unlike the original "Slinky" however, I was much softer, more malleable, and could slink up, down, or around any surface. I was rat-mom's favorite rat, and she, my favorite human.

Submissive Rat - I am 99% of all rats. There can be only one "Dominant Rat" after all. Some of us will try to get to the top of the rat totem-pole but we'll usually fail because of general misconceptions, mistaken identity, and bad genetics. Most of us, however, are content with being "Submissive Rats" because it induces less stress for us.

Territory - I am anything that has been whizzed on or marked. When the very first rat settlers came along, they marked everything and claimed it as theirs. Rats must, so their rat name is not forgotten, maintain these behaviors lest someone be confused and think they hold the actual rites to the land. Sometimes thos