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Hello. My name is Guffaw. Some people call me Guffy. Sometimes Mom mixes me up with someone who looks like me, so she calls me Terd. How offensive! Naw, I'm kidding. It's OK.

Mom and Dad picked me up at a Pets'n'Such store that's right next door to this awful Mexican restaurant that they go to. Apparently they always avoided that store but the night they met me, my magnetic vibes were on full force and there they were.

For a bit I thought my vibes weren't putting off enough energy. They almost walked away. Mom said that I was full grown and that it would be a big mistake to buy me. I was really clever though. I sent little messages to the employee and told her to pick me up. I acted all nice and lovely.

I am nice and lovely, sort of. I mean I am an adult and I do have rat things to do and sometimes it's not the best time to play with my human. I like to trick them too. Even on my first day there at RatRaisins, Inc. I was clinging to the side of my cage, begging with my big pleading eyes to get out and to get treats. When they took me out, I'd squeal and poop on them. That was sure fun. I still got lots of treats too!

Mom tried to put me with this Booboo guy a week ago. Boy was that a mess! Booboo thought that just because I was big that I'd want to be dominant. That's insane! All I want to do is sleep, eat, guffaw, and check I.D. cards (as every rat should). Anyway, he was squealing so loud, Dad ended up putting us back in our loner cages. I was so down.

Then, all of the sudden, Mom gets all these little rats! I have a soft spot for them, well, everyone besides Roger. He's a little ball of energy if I've ever seen one!

My favorite is Zapp! He follows me around mimicking everything I do! He's like a little mini-me with big ears!

In case you were curious, Oops and I get along now. Well, maybe not "get along," but we co-habitate peacefully. He let me sniff his butt so now I don't have to be as annoyingly curious.

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